One of the most vibrant feelings in the world is feeling loved and appreciated by a significant other –which is enough for some people. However, there are always other needs to be taken into consideration. Your first decision should be to decide the greatest priority: being loved and adored by someone who appears to be well suited for you or feeling financially secure as you grow older, an unfortunate concern given today’s economy.
Consider two things: Suppose your beloved had all the money you’d ever need, but the love and the trust were not there. What feelings would you have for him then?
Secondly, try to understand that looking outside one’s self for provision, emotionally or materially, causes you to rely on outside influences for happiness. In relationships — partnerships — there is a joining which allows mutual give and take and connectedness for the betterment of both parties. Only you can decide what is most important.
We have certain basic needs that need to be met in order for us to function. We need food, clothing and shelter. Physical safety as well as financial security are important to our well-being. Once these needs are met the next area we need met is for love and a sense of belonging which is met through our friendships, community, family, and intimacy.
Our need for love and acceptance can often overcome the physical and security needs. Love and security are non-negotiable — never compromised. The man you are considering to spend the rest of your life with should know the importance of these needs if you’re looking for smooth sailing in your relationship.
It is a common expectation for the “man” to be the provider, but such is not always the case. In the past, this expectation even prevented women from being with the man of her heart’s choice. If your love for each other is strong, accept that it is important for you to have a relationship that is built on love first. How would you feel about changing your perspective from financial dependence to financial interdependence?
What is possible if you would seize this opportunity to step into your own power? Unless the man is financially dependent on the woman, or if the woman is incapacitated in one form or another, the two should explore together how they can improve their financial situation, instead of allowing this issue to drive them apart. Who knows what creative solutions two minds can find when joining forces!
Instead of focusing on a limiting belief that there is “not enough,” support each other in being at your fullest potential and attract the finances you need! Sometimes we get so caught up worrying about the future, we forget to enjoy what we have right now, right here, in front of us. We all have the need to feel secure, but that need that keeps bringing you back to the other person, is obviously very special and is just as much of a need.
As women, we are taught to look towards men to “take care of us.” Men, on the other hand, basically have to sell their souls to be the provider, and some of them have chosen to follow their passion instead. At the same time, love is not enough for a long term relationship. Money is important. How important you make it, whether it supersedes love and trust, is up to you.
He may never make enough to meet your financial security needs. That is something that is a very real possibility in this economy. If that’s the case, and you do not see yourself sharing the financial responsibility, ask yourself, “If this is what it will be forever, can I love and accept him as he is, or will I always want something else?”