Happiness in What You Don’t Do

Happiness is often a matter of subtraction, not addition. Bet you did not think math had anything to do with it! What would happen if you stopped doing a few things? You may ask what you could stop doing that would benefit your life and the lives around you. How about: Blaming, impressing, clinging, interrupting, whining, controlling, criticizing, preaching, and dwelling. Oh, and let’s not forget the big one; fearing.

Impressing, clinging, and dwelling can be indicators of insecurity. You are who you are and there is no point in trying to make yourself into someone you are not. Besides being fake, it is also going to pull you down more not bring you up. Genuine relationships make you happier, and only when you find a true appreciation for yourself can you find others that will make you happy. When you’re afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn’t particularly good for you. An absence of fear or insecurity isn’t happiness: It’s just an absence of fear or insecurity. As for dwelling; the past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others. Then let it go. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.

Interrupting, controlling, and criticizing is a show of rudeness in any culture or society. Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. The only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying to control other people, you’ve decided you are more important than anyone else. Yeah, you’re more educated. Yeah, you’re more experienced. Blah, blah, blah. Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Learn to accept and appreciate these differences and you will find yourself less critical and more charitable. This is not only true in social situations, but in your own home and families. The old lie about only behaving before the wedding will lead to nothing but divorce in the future.

Blaming, whining, and preaching is the fastest way to prove you are nothing more than a spoiled bully. People make mistakes. Guess what? So do you. There is a saying that, “they who forgive most shall be most forgiven” (Josiah Bailey). Your words have power, especially over you; so make the most of your time and energy by looking at how to fix a problem instead of wasting time whining about it. Besides, whining is really exhausting!

Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging. All these traits are demeaning to both your character and of those around you.

We’re all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can’t change, or what we won’t be able to do, or how other people might perceive us. If left uncontrolled it will eat away at your core and continue to drag you down until there is nothing left of courage and love. Another famous quote is that of, “courage is not the absence of fear, rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear” (Ambrose Redmoon). Don’t let your fears hold you back. Whatever you’ve been planning, whatever you’ve imagined, whatever you’ve dreamed of, get started on it today. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.bad

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