Finding equal footing is one of the keys to securing a lasting relationship. How many of us have found ourselves stooping to a relationship where the other seems to have potential for growth, but as time passes you feel more like a mentor than a partner? Not all situations of this caliber bring the same discouraged feelings as every partnership is based on different values and connections. How do you find someone you can connect with? Start with you and your expectations.
Feeling that those you are dating are inferior indicates a belief that they fall short in your estimations. Take a look at what you want from and for your relationship. Look at what is holding you back from connecting with those who are equal to you. You may find your continuous frustration of being in the role of mentor is shared by many. But open up to the suggestion of surrendering the idea of being the expert or teacher. We don’t “find” our soul mate, we co-create our soul mate partnership through an equal exchange of energy, knowledge, compassion, empathy, and communication.
What do you hope to experience with another? How do you want them to enhance your life? Do you see growing together while respecting each others journey a possibility? What values must you share? What interests do you hope to share? How do you recognize this person when you meet him? If you have done something like this, it might help to revisit it again to explore your inner dialogue.
Then there are those you still feel are not your match. As long as you gauge this accurately, and base this on your requirements so you know without doubt that you are not prepared to settle for less than you deserve, there is nothing wrong with this. Why would you continue to date someone if you already know it wouldn’t work out? But, don’t give up. You never know when it will happen for you. Mutual support, even if each partner contributes in different ways, can create a beautifully balanced relationship.
You may be farther along in your journey, however judge not on the destination, but on willingness to learn and connect with you in the process. You may be surprised at what you learn from them in another area. We are all students, we are all givers, and we are all receivers.