How Do I Love You? Let Me Count The Ways


Have you ever taken the time to think about “how” you love your partner in life? Certainly the easy things come to mind – spending time with him or her, sharing intimate moments, being there to listen and so on.

When you become more conscious as to “how” you love your mate, you’ll develop an increased level of appreciation for both him or her as well as your relationship. Conscious love and affection is given and received with much more passion and excitement.couple gift

The Grounding Factor is Time

Ultimately, what you give to each other is your time – literally — your life time. Time melts away one second, one minute, one hour at a time. It’s given in the now and can never be stored or saved; it just passes by — never to be reclaimed. Though fleeting, its memories remain with you for a lifetime. It’s perhaps the most precious gift you can give to anyone and it’s the foundation of all you do when it comes to how you love your partner.

How We Love Our Mate

Generally, how you do anything is how you do everything. So if you do things with more passion, compassion and heartfelt enthusiasm, these emotions will surely pass to the recipient. If you’re not living to your potential or investing as much as you would like into your mate and relationship, then now is a good time to do more.

Being more conscious and intentional in how you love your mate will create closer connection and intimacy. It will intensify your feelings of love and increase your overall satisfaction with your relationship. As you think about the ideas described below, think about how each might benefit both of you.

I love you by sharing experiences with you. Shared experiences are the “super glue” of how you express your love. Through the thick and the thin, through the ups and the downs, for better and for worse, the time you spend with your mate is going to cement you together.

It’s through these experiences that you learn more about each other and about yourself. In the future, these become the memories upon which you will reminisce. For today, truly enjoy your mate and the interplay of energy between the both of you. Not only will this brighten your experience, but it will enlighten your relationship.

Question: What new and unique experiences can you share?

I love you by listening to you. When you listen to one another without necessarily providing solutions or answers or anything in particular, you are truly being with your mate. Allow your partner to just be – to talk freely, to express their emotions and bottled up thoughts and feelings. Listening is probably one of the greatest gifts you can give and it is how you show your love.

Question: What can you do to communicate that you’re really listening to your mate?

I love you by giving you gifts that are meaningful to you. There are countless gifts you can give to your partner. There’s the gift of time. There are physical gifts like a ring, a book, flowers or something of that nature. It might be breakfast in bed or taking the kids to some activity to give your partner time to relax and unwind. Gifts are a beautiful and meaningful extension of your love.

Certainly you know the types of gifts that your mate enjoys. Now take it one step further. What types of gifts might reflect his or her life goals or values? How could you incorporate audio or video to increase the sensory experience of your gift? How can you customize something so that it’s one-of-a-kind – just like the love you share? What could you make with your own hands which would embrace your love for one another?

Question: What types of gifts are meaningful to your mate?

I love you by being there for you. Being there can apply to the prior items mentioned above — like spending time together, listening and giving of gifts. Being there is more than that. It’s about being there for your mate at his or her darkest hour — when they’re ill, when they’ve lost a loved one or when they’ve been impacted by something of great significance.

And, equally, it’s being there when your mate accomplishes something amazing. Showing your support, attending to their needs and expressing your caring in the unique way that you do, will warm their heart and tame their fears.

Question: How do you provide emotional support for your partner? What might you add to what you’re doing which would comfort them even more?

This list of ideas is far from complete so add your own thoughts, too. “How” you love your mate is contagious – in a good way! You learn from each other. Your partner can learn how to love you by the way you love him or her – and vice versa.

When your loving actions are more conscious, you automatically engage your partner and your relationship with more zest. It is important to know “how” you love your mate because this is “how” you invest in your relationship. The more you invest, the more you will reap by way of love, understanding, trust and intimacy.

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