Finding Your Perfect Mate


Believe it or not, finding your perfect mate is completely possible. But if you don’t believe this, stop reading here because the most important principle for success in anything is, “What you believe you can achieve.”

Here are the precise five steps you can take to find your perfect mate:

Step One: Allow yourself to be single

Sounds paradoxical, but if you want to find your perfect mate you must not be involved with people that aren’t a good fit for you. Staying available (and single) can be hard, but necessary, for finding the love of your life. Let your motto be, “‘I’d rather be single than settle!” Settling closes you off from finding the one person who is perfect for you in every way.

Step Two: Get ready

Wanting a relationship is not the same as being ready for one. Handle any unfinished business that might sabotage your future relationship — legal, financial, emotional baggage, kid issues, problems with your former partners, school or job demands, trust issues, etc. It would be a tragedy to finally find your soul mate, only to have the relationship bomb because you weren’t ready. Become the person you want to be BEFORE you look for the perfect match.  After all, you want to be their perfect mate too.

Step Three: Identify your top deal-breakers

You have non-negotiable relationship deal-breakers. What are they?  Is it religion, career, children, etc? Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet ALL of them. That’s right, ALL.  If the person you are with doesn’t meet ALL your requirements, they aren’t the perfect match.

Step Four: Find your perfect mate by following these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

• Scouting (find compatible people to meet; on the internet, through friends, through your religious affiliations, through work, etc.)
• Sorting (assess chemistry and quickly determine if someone you meet has potential or is going to be less than ideal)
• Screening (collect enough data to identify any possible relationship deal-breakers)
• Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the data)

Implement these four steps as long as it takes to find your perfect mate (don’t worry, it will happen faster than you think).

Step Five: Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating. Get a coach and lean on your friends and family for support to stay on track.

This is the most important relationship and journey of your life. Finding your perfect mate requires developing yourself and your life so that you’re ready to attract and keep the love of your life. Be proactive and go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.” Like a career, a hobby, a skill, finding your perfect mate takes effort and energy and time to develop your senses. Don’t become discouraged and never settle for less than perfection. Now, go for it!

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