What should happen when a marriage dissolves


With permission, I am blogging this today.  For the past three months, I have been offering love and support to a dear friend who is going through a divorce.  Originally, his wife’s request for a dissolution came as a surprise.  Over the course of several weeks, he came to accept her choice but he was bitter, as was she.  There were choices that had been made but the couple was not being honest with each other about those choices.  Emotions were escalating, the children were taking the brunt of the emotional backlash, and at one point, my dear friend could not take anymore and he confronted his wife with the truth. Almost immediately, the whole environment changed.  The wife seemed relieved that the truth was finally out.  The couple spent hours talking and finding acceptance together and earning each others forgiveness for years of resentments and grudges. All it took was complete honesty from both of them and a willingness to accept that imperfections in each other.

Now instead of anger and bitterness, these two are best friends again, the way they were before marriage and kids.  They are loving, considerate, goofy, happy, and best of all, their children are too.  Is the divorce off?  No.  But this couple have been able to let go of all their animosity and can now end their marriage in an amicable manner that ensures that their children will not struggle with their divorce and the couple will be able to focus on their children’s needs and will actually want their current partner to find happiness and fulfillment elsewhere later on.  I’ve never seen my friend so content and happy and his wife, who is a friend also, is just as content as he is.  When the divorce is finalized, these two will part ways knowing that they have done all they could to repair their relationship and they will continue to be friends.

Now why can’t every couple who falls out of love act this maturely when the marriage or relationship ends?  My friends are proof positive that not all divorces have to end in resentment and anger.

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